#include void Ddelay(int Secs) { extern void Sleep(int Secs); Sleep(Secs); } void Haunt(_imp_string Dummy) { int Rem(int Num, int Den) { return (Num - Num / Den * Num); } static const int Maxvictims = 10; static const int Maxmessages = 303; static const int Minutes = 1; _imp_string Victim[10 /*1:10*/]; int Procno; int Numvictims; int Thisvictim; int Times; int Delay; int Maxtimes; int Selected; static _imp_string Blurb; _imp_string Procname; Delay = 10; Maxtimes = 60 / Delay * Minutes; static const _imp_string Message[304 /*0:303*/] = {[0 ... 7] = _imp_str_literal("We hates Pascal!!!"), _imp_str_literal("Weeble"), _imp_str_literal("SYN SYN SYN NAK"), _imp_str_literal("SYN SYN SYN ACK"), _imp_str_literal("SYN SYN SYN WABT"), _imp_str_literal("(CADDDDDADADADADR X)"), _imp_str_literal("*device timeout"), _imp_str_literal("%CLI-W-INSFPRM"), _imp_str_literal("MAKE 'FRED :JIM"), _imp_str_literal("Hack an Ent today"), _imp_str_literal("**HOST DOWN"), _imp_str_literal("PASCAL: No Thanks"), _imp_str_literal("Supermac is Back."), _imp_str_literal("Vangelis isn't Dutch"), _imp_str_literal("DTE -> DCE SARM F (B)"), _imp_str_literal("3-space indentation??"), _imp_str_literal("CHR(7) - rings a bell?"), _imp_str_literal("Gimme back my 10p!!"), _imp_str_literal("A Masochist on a diet?"), _imp_str_literal("Turn the tape over.."), _imp_str_literal("Have an index card."), _imp_str_literal("Device type:"), _imp_str_literal("Its frothy man."), _imp_str_literal("Quine-McWHO????"), _imp_str_literal("Try chasing the dream."), _imp_str_literal("Tangram Time!"), _imp_str_literal("Hi there Stan"), _imp_str_literal("Sod ML (attrib [MID])"), _imp_str_literal("HALT INST EXECUTED"), _imp_str_literal("ISYS80 V3.17"), _imp_str_literal("WSLXVANMAT for pres."), _imp_str_literal("R0 = 00000804"), _imp_str_literal("Symbolic stack dump:"), _imp_str_literal("@173000G"), _imp_str_literal("This must be Thursday?"), _imp_str_literal("What a party..."), _imp_str_literal("Confirmed."), _imp_str_literal("Right? ... Check!"), _imp_str_literal("$ SET NOCONTROL_Y"), _imp_str_literal("Noohoosferra Burzi??"), _imp_str_literal("Welcome to VAX/VMS v^O"), _imp_str_literal("Mostly Harmless..."), _imp_str_literal("VAX user service resu"), _imp_str_literal("prepare to die"), _imp_str_literal("Ecce Ecce F'tang"), _imp_str_literal("page owner violation"), _imp_str_literal("We wants a shrubbery"), _imp_str_literal("European or African??"), _imp_str_literal("Can I have a synopsys?"), _imp_str_literal("Kohilla Kohilla Splugh"), _imp_str_literal("Conversing..."), _imp_str_literal("%PAS-F-CASSELBOU"), _imp_str_literal("Baroque is Beautiful"), _imp_str_literal("WSLXVANMAT"), _imp_str_literal("**END**"), _imp_str_literal("Heeee-Haw."), _imp_str_literal("Kirk to Enterprise..."), _imp_str_literal("Zot!"), _imp_str_literal("You must be joking"), _imp_str_literal("[] : *a list"), _imp_str_literal("false : bool"), _imp_str_literal("47 : num"), _imp_str_literal("- : elephant"), _imp_str_literal("[-;-] : butterfly list"), _imp_str_literal("You need more monkeys."), _imp_str_literal("Have a gorilla.."), _imp_str_literal("Have a chocolate frog."), _imp_str_literal("->@putslice(1:0,fred)"), _imp_str_literal("POSITIVE shields!!!"), _imp_str_literal("WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT??"), _imp_str_literal("what what What WHAT??"), _imp_str_literal("addr(253)"), _imp_str_literal("* Form |"), _imp_str_literal("SWITCH,SWITCH,SWITCH"), _imp_str_literal("TICK,TICK,TICK,TICK"), _imp_str_literal("string(addr(p_p1))=\"\""), _imp_str_literal("Failure: m0"), _imp_str_literal("Mind if I smoke?"), _imp_str_literal("External missing"), _imp_str_literal("Int:."), _imp_str_literal("BDBDBD Hi there, Buck."), _imp_str_literal("0000 *a*"), _imp_str_literal("0 files"), _imp_str_literal("Hi there, Steve."), _imp_str_literal("Cif:"), _imp_str_literal("Weebles wobble."), _imp_str_literal("Stopped."), _imp_str_literal("You Have Mail."), _imp_str_literal("Play it again, Sam."), _imp_str_literal("Play it again, Sid."), _imp_str_literal("You have been Warned."), _imp_str_literal(">%c"), _imp_str_literal(">(l0(f1/!/l40\\f/!/)0)0"), _imp_str_literal("Apologies accepted."), _imp_str_literal("Push the button, Max."), _imp_str_literal("Try Oiling it."), _imp_str_literal("Caimbridge, caimbridge"), _imp_str_literal("Dont Panic. Dont Panic"), _imp_str_literal("Coffee time..."), _imp_str_literal("Time to feed the alien"), _imp_str_literal("Complexity = O(nlog(n)"), _imp_str_literal("Disk reversal error."), _imp_str_literal("PDS is on the bridge"), _imp_str_literal("PSR has been and gone"), _imp_str_literal("We'd better call Stan."), _imp_str_literal("Sid is innocent!"), _imp_str_literal("Oh no, not again."), _imp_str_literal("Beep-beep."), _imp_str_literal("Page Page Page"), _imp_str_literal("Swap Swap Swap"), _imp_str_literal("Oh, Good grief"), _imp_str_literal("Get the Purple One"), _imp_str_literal("Put it in the curry"), _imp_str_literal("Rooner Spools OK"), _imp_str_literal("Slide rules OK"), _imp_str_literal("Dyslexia rules KO"), _imp_str_literal("Queen rules UK"), _imp_str_literal("Apathy might rule OK"), _imp_str_literal("Cannot open input."), _imp_str_literal("%SYSTEM-F-ABORT,abort"), _imp_str_literal("NO."), _imp_str_literal("Phasers locked on."), _imp_str_literal("Shields are now dead."), _imp_str_literal("*indentation |"), _imp_str_literal("No more room in cube"), _imp_str_literal("Filename:"), _imp_str_literal("Invalid Password."), _imp_str_literal("SET [ DEAD ]"), _imp_str_literal("SET [ **EOT** ]"), _imp_str_literal("My brain hurts"), _imp_str_literal("*T .BG;CA"), _imp_str_literal("Reel..Zot..Clamp"), _imp_str_literal("Trund!!"), _imp_str_literal("Beware of the Trund"), _imp_str_literal("Illegal opcode"), _imp_str_literal("Dont even Bother"), _imp_str_literal("WET PAINT"), _imp_str_literal("** CONSOLE FAILURE"), _imp_str_literal("** OUTPUT LOST"), _imp_str_literal("Are you sure ?"), _imp_str_literal("Delete?"), _imp_str_literal("** Too many externals"), _imp_str_literal("Host:v"), _imp_str_literal("Number 149"), _imp_str_literal("Rivet. Rivet."), _imp_str_literal("Try typing "), _imp_str_literal("Type Q to quit"), _imp_str_literal("SYN SYN SYN RABBIT"), _imp_str_literal("%diagnose 2<<14+255"), _imp_str_literal("//EXEC FORT"), _imp_str_literal("Beam me up, Scotty!!"), _imp_str_literal("Glad to be of service."), _imp_str_literal("Tap out the code...."), _imp_str_literal("Wretched, isn't it?"), _imp_str_literal("MCR>PIP *.*;*/DE"), _imp_str_literal("X.IMP deleted"), _imp_str_literal("...a collum matrix..."), _imp_str_literal("PHUT-THINK-CLICK"), _imp_str_literal("%endofprogramme"), _imp_str_literal("1 statements compiled"), _imp_str_literal("Coojagoa Burzi??"), _imp_str_literal("I/O Silver."), _imp_str_literal("OKOKOKKO @"), _imp_str_literal(".LT1 *A*"), _imp_str_literal("Hello lift"), _imp_str_literal(".KJOB"), _imp_str_literal("your days are numbered"), _imp_str_literal("** CRASH IMMINENT"), _imp_str_literal("Wargle Wargle"), _imp_str_literal("57 varieties"), _imp_str_literal("_OPA0: \"Backup"), _imp_str_literal("Regardez, gentlemen.."), _imp_str_literal("What, pray tell??"), _imp_str_literal("So what, Mark?"), _imp_str_literal("Fiddle-de-dee"), _imp_str_literal("42"), _imp_str_literal("Forty-Two"), _imp_str_literal("42=7*9"), _imp_str_literal("RND(X) = 17 for all X"), _imp_str_literal("xxx~~~//][()?"), _imp_str_literal("Live long and prosper"), _imp_str_literal("Pass your maths, guyyz"), _imp_str_literal("Space, it says, is BIG"), _imp_str_literal("We've got you covered"), _imp_str_literal("NEGATIVE shields."), _imp_str_literal(">M-*k*;%c"), _imp_str_literal("Chewbacca is cuddly"), _imp_str_literal("Apathetic bloddy panic"), _imp_str_literal("Metaphysical Imagery.."), _imp_str_literal("I'm running out of Ink"), _imp_str_literal("BNAG!!!!!"), _imp_str_literal("HNAG!!!!!"), _imp_str_literal("Fs link HNUG?"), _imp_str_literal("CODE+GLAP+DIAGS=0"), _imp_str_literal("** corrupt diags"), _imp_str_literal("** diagnostics looping"), _imp_str_literal("**execution error:ille"), _imp_str_literal("** Segment error"), _imp_str_literal("LIB - *FATAL*"), _imp_str_literal("Edwin error 14."), _imp_str_literal("[0 XACTIONS AFFECTED]"), _imp_str_literal("I am lying."), _imp_str_literal("Coruscate, coruscate"), _imp_str_literal("Geezanarra DECtape"), _imp_str_literal(".("), _imp_str_literal("Type YES to continue"), _imp_str_literal("SAY \"XYZZY\""), _imp_str_literal("SAY \"PLUGH\""), _imp_str_literal("Clams got arms!"), _imp_str_literal("Clams got livers!"), _imp_str_literal("*CRASH*"), _imp_str_literal("FRED OBJ not on DT2"), _imp_str_literal("Alarm set for 08:00"), _imp_str_literal("The Bells...."), _imp_str_literal("*** Spelling errur"), _imp_str_literal("* Processor head crash"), _imp_str_literal("mouldy breadboard err"), _imp_str_literal("sliced breadboard err"), _imp_str_literal("greasy chip error"), _imp_str_literal("Resistance is Useless!"), _imp_str_literal("Production rules OK"), _imp_str_literal("ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz...."), _imp_str_literal("Merde alors"), _imp_str_literal("Foute-moi le camp!"), _imp_str_literal("Scheiss ab!"), _imp_str_literal("Va t'en faire baiser"), _imp_str_literal("Pisse-toi, salaud!"), _imp_str_literal("`X' (attrib Schulze)"), _imp_str_literal("----------------------"), _imp_str_literal("PASCAL is good AS CLAP"), _imp_str_literal("Zaphod's just zis guy."), _imp_str_literal("Dis is vot ve find...."), _imp_str_literal(".BLISS is ignorance"), _imp_str_literal("Pickle a squirrel"), _imp_str_literal("Eat a beaver"), _imp_str_literal("We hates it..."), _imp_str_literal("Ian was here"), _imp_str_literal("TANSTAAFL"), _imp_str_literal("Elbereth"), _imp_str_literal("Haunting you is fun..."), _imp_str_literal("You need another quote"), _imp_str_literal("EEEEXXXXXcellent !!"), _imp_str_literal("HAUNT HAUNT !!"), _imp_str_literal("TJ's for BMs OK!"), _imp_str_literal("Sauron Lives"), _imp_str_literal("Zap a Balrog - TODAY"), _imp_str_literal("Its a FEATURE!!!"), _imp_str_literal("I shall return..."), _imp_str_literal("Let us pray"), _imp_str_literal("%MOUSES-I-HI_THERE"), _imp_str_literal("Ho, Hummmmmm"), _imp_str_literal("Have a nasty day!"), _imp_str_literal("I WANNA COOKIE!!!"), _imp_str_literal("Share and enjoy"), _imp_str_literal("P_dsno = P_ssno+17"), _imp_str_literal("Suicide is painless"), _imp_str_literal("Laura rules!"), _imp_str_literal("Polly wants a biscuit"), _imp_str_literal("It's the rugby club"), _imp_str_literal("Time for moussaka"), _imp_str_literal("%SLART-E-BARFAAST"), _imp_str_literal("I'm a FORTRAN man!!!"), _imp_str_literal("Nibble a happy warthog"), _imp_str_literal("T. Dream time!!"), _imp_str_literal("Ve are ze robots!!"), _imp_str_literal("yojne dna erahS"), _imp_str_literal("FrreeeyyyOOOWWWW!!!"), _imp_str_literal("Structured BASIC ????"), _imp_str_literal("%Rms-e-korsakoff"), _imp_str_literal("NOPR-ERR"), _imp_str_literal("Clams got legs!!!"), _imp_str_literal("Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!!"), _imp_str_literal("EM Char in stmt"), _imp_str_literal("Mouses rules OK"), _imp_str_literal("IMP yourself today"), _imp_str_literal("Hi there"), _imp_str_literal("Yummmmmmmmm"), _imp_str_literal("Mouses rules OK"), _imp_str_literal("Have a nice day!"), _imp_str_literal("Friend or foe???"), _imp_str_literal("EMAS is great (honest)"), _imp_str_literal("%MTHLIB-E-FLOOVEMAT"), _imp_str_literal("Another silly message"), _imp_str_literal("As you wish, so be it."), _imp_str_literal("You may call me Mazda."), _imp_str_literal("Groovy, man."), _imp_str_literal("%control K'101011'"), _imp_str_literal("PROCESS RUNNING"), _imp_str_literal("movl #^xDEAD, r0"), _imp_str_literal("movl #^xB00B, r0"), _imp_str_literal("Filestore down til 11"), _imp_str_literal("Error: ';' expected"), _imp_str_literal("Another layer of metal"), _imp_str_literal("You have mail from SM"), _imp_str_literal("TEXT FOR F?"), _imp_str_literal("AV nowhere to be found"), _imp_str_literal("BDKH:BAD SEGMENT")}; int Randommessno(void) { static int K1 = 0; int K2; for (;;) { K1 = (K1 * 125 + 1) & 16383; K2 = Imod(K1); K2 = Rem(K2, Maxmessages + 1); if (0 <= K2 && K2 <= Maxmessages) return (K2); } } if (*Length(Dummy) == 0) { Numvictims = 0; Prompt(_imp_str_literal("Victim:")); while (Numvictims <= Maxvictims) { Procname = _imp_str_literal(""); while (Nextch() <= ' ' && Nextch() != 25) Skipsymbol(); if (Nextch() == 25) break; while (Nextsymbol() != Nl) { Procname = _imp_join(Procname, Tostring(Nextsymbol())); Skipsymbol(); } if (_imp_strcmp(Procname, _imp_str_literal(".end")) == 0 || _imp_strcmp(Procname, _imp_str_literal(".END")) == 0) break; Numvictims++; Victim[Numvictims] = Procname; } } else { Victim[1] = Dummy; Numvictims = 1; } for (Times = 1; Times <= Maxtimes; Times++) { Ddelay(Delay); for (Thisvictim = 1; Thisvictim <= Numvictims; Thisvictim++) { Selected = Randommessno(); Printstring(Message[Selected]); Newline(); } } } int _imp_mainep(int _imp_argc, char **_imp_argv) { Selectoutput(0); Haunt(_imp_str_literal("user")); exit(0); return (1); }